East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Someone shit on the floor
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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