Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
