i permit you to call me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
