my being single is dangerous.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
