after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
