I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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