i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
