Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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