i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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