actually, I'm a sock model
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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