whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
