literally had 100 drinks last night.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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