she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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