She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize