We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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