I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize