anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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