Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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