Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
