last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
