Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
