Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
