Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
