My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You dont lie about slip and slides
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
