Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
