Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
