She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
