So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize