There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We're too hungover to prance.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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