Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
