just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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