You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
