Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
