She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
