Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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