Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
