eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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