i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
