shes about as inviting as chlamydia
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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