the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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