not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
