Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
