she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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