Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
