having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we should paint friendship bongs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
