he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
