are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
