went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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