It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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