U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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