she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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