Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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