1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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