So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
