Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
