So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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