its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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