Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
