Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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