real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
