i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I want to be your penis for a week.
50% drunk capacity currently
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
