Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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